A Journey To Remember

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Take a moment and journey back with me to the summer of 1993...

Heather was living in Sofia, Bulgaria, on the 17th floor of an old communist apartment building, traveling from orphanage to orphanage with our beloved Bulgarian doctor, "Doc." In those early days, each orphanage director was in charge of choosing which agency they would allow to find families for their adoptable children. One was fortunate at that time to be given two or three children from any one mother and child, and often only one.

This particular summer Doc and Heather traveled to a small orphanage they had never visited before, located in the northern Bulgarian town of Kaspichen. What happened that day has never taken place before and has never repeated itself since in quite the same way. It was indeed a truly miraculous moment!

I remember Heather's call... She had been allowed to take pictures of 13 children, all between the ages of 5-10 years. The director had given her permission to find families for all of them! When the photos arrived, each child was photographed in exactly the same place... in an indoor garden setting with a large wood-paned window as a backdrop. All these little faces peered back at us doing their best to reach out to someone through a photo... we made the decision to try and find families for as many children as possible on the West Coast, so that they would all have an opportunity to stay in contact with each other.

As our search began, one miracle after another unfolded as God brought families to us who were called to embrace these older little ones... and by early fall almost all of the Kaspichen children had been matched with their new families.

Christmas was coming, and God laid it on our hearts to try and take Christmas to Kaspichen... for all the children living there. Through the kind gifts of waiting Kaspichen families as well as other AGCI friends, toys and gifts began to pour in. By the time Ron and I began to pack for the trip, our overstuffed suitcases were filled with a Christmas tree (complete with twinkling lights and ornaments), Christmas stockings for all, Barbie dolls, games, a basketball hoop, and a 3-foot-high Victorian dollhouse!

We traveled just before Thanksgiving that year, and as our plane broke through the clouds over Sofia we landed in the first snowfall of the year! That same night Doc loaded two cars with "Christmas!" It was still dark the next morning as we began our journey to Kaspichen. The first snow had escalated into a full-fledged storm. So with the big dollhouse tied to the top of Doc's Lada, he led us confidently through Bulgaria's dangerous mountain passes. What should have been a 4-hour drive, turned into an 8-hour treacherous journey. But anyone who remembers Doc knows that he was always willing to attempt the impossible... and he did that day. We all prayed our way through multiple mountains passes, and finally arrived safe and sound. Welcomed by the director, she gave us a room to set up "Christmas Day" for her children. I remember Doc and Daria, Heather, Ron and I working to make that dreary room bright with our twinkling Christmas tree, setting out all the gifts... and then waiting... as the director went to gather the children for our Christmas celebration.

One of the children who shared that day with us was a 7-year-old little girl named Desi. This little girl had a smile that reached out and embraced your heart the minute you saw her! The following is her recollection of that day and why it was such a special journey to remember for us, and an amazing Christmas blessing for her!

Desi's Christmas Blessing

Christmas day, 1993 was not celebrated on the 25th of December, but rather on the day All God's Children walked through my orphanage door, ready to pass out gifts and hugs! Before my friends and I met Ron, Jan, and Heather, the leylas (our caregivers) at the orphanage told us that some people were coming to bring us toys and that we must get ready. When I heard this, I knew something very important was about to happen... because as orphans we never got ready for anything. We had nothing to get ready for... because we had nothing... and no one. But that particular morning the leylas gave me a nice dress to wear and pulled my hair into a ponytail. As we lined up and started to walk toward what became known as "the Christmas Room," some of the children started to get really excited. Some were skipping and at times I could hear moments of laughter ripple down the line. However, I remained very quiet. I was not sure what to think! Someone reached for the door and as it swung open, I walked into the most beautiful room I had ever seen! It had been transformed into a Christmas room filled with love, laughter, hugs, and toys! It was a room that every orphaned child should have the opportunity to experience for at least one day.

I was given that amazing moment because of All God's Children and the love and care of the family who was waiting to adopt me. My waiting family had saved their money and helped buy Christmas toys, not just for me but also for my orphan friends.

That day I was given a toy that I fell in love with. It was a special kind of ball game. Ron came, greeted me with a hug, and then stooped down and began playing with me. I have to tell you, at that moment for the very first time in my life... I felt loved. Because I was of Roma (gypsy) heritage, even at that early age I knew that I was considered to be the lower part of society... truly the least likely to matter. I felt that unspoken burden even at the age of seven. But, when I experienced this "kind white man" from America playing with me... something happened in my heart. His care made me feel loved. His kindness made me believe that maybe I was not that bad... I had value. That one moment on that early Christmas day changed the way I looked at myself. From that time on, whenever I had a bad day, I would just remember that day... the day Ron came into my orphanage and played with me. We all were blessed that day by All God's Children. Every smile, every hug, every toy given, I remember it all... as a real Christmas blessing. But that's how Christmas should be for orphans everywhere.

Death And Hope

Years later I looked up the word "orphan." Webster's dictionary described an orphan as "a child deprived by death of one or usually both parents." When I read this definition the word "death" stood out in my mind. Because I remember how I felt.

I had a building to live in, food to eat, and leylas who did their best to take care of me, but in my heart I felt empty... a deep sense of loss... those feelings felt like death to me. I realized then what had happened on that special early Christmas day so many years ago. What I couldn't put into words, because I had never felt it before, was this: God sent hope into my heart that day... hope that someone had seen my tears, and heard my cries behind my orphanage door. I felt loved because someone had come to wipe my tears and lead me home. I am grown up now, yet an invisible thread still connects my heart to all the orphaned children of the world. My life began in an orphanage, and now my journey in life has taken me back to where I once was.

My Journey Back

Last summer I journeyed back to Shoumen and Kaspichen, the orphanages where my life began - where children still wait for the same hope I waited for, hope that will change their lives. As I walked down the orphanage halls at Shoumen where I once was carried, one of the leylas remembered me. She ran up to the attic where all the orphan archives are kept and placed an old book before me... There on one of the pages was my name... a written record that I mattered. "God knew my name" and cared. As I then journeyed to Kaspichen I was greeted by one of the leylas who had taken care of me. She came to wait for me on her day off. With tears running down her face she hugged me close, more evidence that God had someone watching over me, to love and care for me during my orphan days. It was truly an amazing journey back... I now look forward, where I once felt so lost and alone.

As I walked through the rooms I remembered it all. I sat below that same window where Heather had first taken my picture. My bed was still in the same place... where now another orphan slept, waiting like I had for something to happen that would change the circumstances of their life. I walked into the same room that held my Christmas blessing and hope so many years ago. There against the wall, a little faded by age but almost like new, sat the Victorian dollhouse! In another room was stored the Christmas tree I remembered... waiting to be used again this year. The memories came flooding back, but this time with a new understanding of God's tender care. I once was lost, one in millions of orphaned children living on the other side of the world. Unknown, feeling unloved, yet God knew exactly where I was... I was one of His Miracles of Mercy! Now He has called me to reach out to other orphaned children, extending to them what Ron gave to me that special Christmas day 15 years ago... the gift of hope. So I speak to you on behalf of the orphaned children who still are waiting...

Please search your heart... I know it might be harder now to reach out across the world and it might take longer. The circumstances in our world are less than perfect. But I often wonder...

What If...?

What if my parents had waited for a perfect moment or a convenient time to reach out to me?
What if Heather hadn't traveled to Bulgaria, and walked through Kaspichen's door that summer day?
What if no one had cared enough to drive through a snowstorm to bring Christmas?
What if Ron hadn't knelt with love before me that day?
God used all of these people to lead me home and to give me the hope I didn't even know existed in the world.

"Your" What If...?

What if this Christmas there is one child who waits for you?
What if you never come?
God has hope waiting for them...
What if He wants to use your hands to give them hope?
What if He's chosen you to be the one to lead them home?
Maybe He's planned a journey to remember for you... so you can personally experience His faithfulness!

Signs of Hope

What a joy it was for me to have seen Desi's beginnings firsthand and to also be present when God allowed her to journey back to Bulgaria. Her story has a happy ending, yet there are so many children simply waiting... It is AGCI's heart and Desi's prayer that by sharing her story, God will use it to encourage other families, to at least ask the question... is God calling you to adopt a child? Is He asking you to embark on your own miraculous journey? Even if adoption is not part of his plan for your family, there are so many ways to reach out and make a difference in the lives of the fatherless. Though this year may have brought as Desi said "less than perfect moments or circumstances into our lives", it is often during times like these that God calls us all to stop and give out of our own need. We have seen first hand... so many who have so much less than we do.

Please stand in prayer with us as we humbly ask the Lord, the Father to the fatherless, to help us bring His promise of hope to nations... where the helpless reside. For despite what is happening here in our world... we continue to stand on what God has called holy ground, firmly planted in faith right where He has placed us. In the countries of Ethiopia, China, Bulgaria, Guatemala, Nepal, India, Rwanda, and Taiwan, together we rest on his promises, along with the children God has put in our care... each life a little "Hope Sign" from the father reminding us every day that He has personally placed us by their side to comfort, love, and care for them in His name. If you would like to help us touch lives today, your generous gifts are so appreciated. He hears your prayers on their behalf and the gifts you give, the love you send through them do not go unnoticed by the Father.

Remember your Journey... When I, the Lord, did everything I could...
To teach you about my faithfulness." Micah 6:5 NLT

To find out more about this story and the upcoming TV Special visit www.loveknowsnoborders.org